I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog
by Silverdust
Summary: Duo and Heero drive into Mexico when something unexpected happens...


font size=16bI Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog/b/font  
font size=14ba songfic by SilverDust/b/font  
font size=12Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. I am making no profit off this fic. The song "I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog" belongs to Adam Sandler(one of the funniest men alive). This is so OOC spam. Hope you enjoy!  
  
After a long night in Mexico playing Strip Twister, several bags of pixie sticks, some scotch, and stealing a funky lowrider, the gang decided that Heero and Duo should go get some tijuana bottle rockets for some midnight mischief. Duo yawned at the wheel, the long highway extended before them.  
"Nice night, ne Heero?" Duo asked nonchlantly.  
"Hn."  
I was driving around in ol Mexico  
"Yeah, I agree. It is pretty nice tonight. Give me the map, will ya?"  
"I already gave you the map."  
"Okay, stop trying to scare me by attempting to make a joke and give me the map."  
"Like I said, I already gave you the map."  
"NO, you DIDN'T."  
"HAI, I DID."  
"Uh oh.."  
"Nani?"  
I got lost, I didn't know which way to go  
Heero shot a death-glare at Duo.  
"Duo, omae baka! You left the map at the safehouse, didn't you?!"  
Duo nodded. Heero shook with rage as Duo smiled innocently.  
"I'm pretty sure I can get us back home, Heero. Don't you trust me?" There was a long pause.  
"Right?!"  
Long pause.  
"RIGHT?!"  
"No."  
Duo glared at Heero.   
"Fine, 'Perfect Soldier', you get us back."  
"Fine, just turn around and retrace our steps."  
Duo turned the car around obeidantly. Suddenly, a thick fog settled, making it hard to see.  
I was confused, it was late, and I was in a fog. I ran over the Taco Bell dog.  
"How'd all this fog appear out of nowhere?" Duo mumbled. Heero responded with his usual grunt.  
Suddenly..  
I felt that 'SMOOSH' and I went 'Oh, Momma!'/font  
font size=14bSMOOSH!/b/font  
font size=12"Oh, Momma!" Duo shouted.  
Heero and Duo both jumped out and walked to the front of the car to see a small dog, it's side flat.A small sound was heard, then silence.  
My lowrider crushed that little chiuaua  
"Oh my God! We killed the Taco Bell dog!"   
"Good, I was tired of those commericials."  
"*sigh* Shingami accompanies death...."  
"Hn."  
I prayed for forgiveness in a synogogue, I ran over the Taco Bell dog  
"This isn't good."  
"Let's go. Animals get hit by cars everyday." Heero turned around and headed towards the car.  
"But Heero, don't you know what we've done?! We've gone and killed a Mexican icon! Do you know what they'll do to us if they find out that we did this?!"  
If I am caught they will put me in a cell with twenty locks  
"Nothing. No one would care."  
Suddenly..  
"Stop RIGHT there! Gundam pilots! We've finally found you! Now come with us!" The voice came from a large group of Oz soldiers who appeared out of nowhere. The Oz soldiers quickly formed a circle around the two pilots, pointing their guns. "Alright! Come with us peacefully and we-..wait...what is that?" The Oz soldier pointed to the small figure in front of the green lowrider.  
"Uh, that?! It's nothing!" Duo laughed nervously. The Oz soldier stepped up to the lump of flattened flesh and turned it over. His eyes widened as he backed away.  
"What is it?" a random Oz soldier inquired. The first Oz soldier pointed at the two pilots.  
"They killed the Taco Bell dog!" he shouted. A ring of gasps could be heard amognst the soldiers. "You bastards are gonna pay for that! First you kill people, and now innocent dogs?! You are gonna fry!"  
Unless I can pin it on Jack In the Box  
"It wasn't me! It was him! Really!" Duo pointed at Heero.  
"I didn't do it, omae gaki!" Heero shouted back.  
I'll be whipped, then beaten, and then I'll be flogged, I ran over the Taco Bell dog  
"You're lying, omae waru!"  
"Baro!"  
"Buta!"  
"KONO YARO!"   
With that Heero tackled Duo to the ground and started to knock him against the concrete.  
"ITAI!-*WHACK*- Heero!-*WHACK*- Stop!-*WHACK*-GOMEN!-*WHACK*-"  
The Oz soldiers promptly sweatdropped as Heero ignored Duo.  
His last words were "Yo quiero el Mexico"  
"Hey, stop that kid!" the Oz soldier commanded. But Heero was in his own world now. He was considering every single way he could make Duo's death more painful. "Go stop him from killing that other kid!" the Oz soldier shouted, Duo starting to lose conciousness. Five Oz soldiers ran towards Heero.   
I flattened that pup, to hell I will go  
"-*WHACK*-I'M-*WHACK*-SORRY!!!" Duo shouted, attempting to push Heero off of him. Suddenly, Duo had a brilliant idea. "LOOK, IT'S RELENA!" Duo shouted, pointing in a random direction.  
"WHERE?!" Heero yelled, looking this way and that after standing up abruptly.   
"Now, gundam pilots, you come with us!" the Oz soldier shouted.  
I should have skipped driving and gone for a jog  
"KUSO!" Heero picked Duo off the ground and jumped inside the car. Heero turned the ignition and stomped on the gas, Duo sweatdropping upside-down in the back. The low-rider squealed off, the Oz soldiers shooting at them. Bullets flew past making a WHIZ! sound.   
I ran over the Taco Bell dog  
"OMAE YARO! PORI-KO!" Heero yelled back at the Oz soldiers, giving them a one-finger salute. Heero laughed manically as Duo stood upright. Suddenly a large tank rolled directly in front of the car. Heero immediately hit the brakes, Duo falling back onto the floor of the car. "...itai....." Duo mumbled.  
A figure jumped out the tank and walked towards the car.  
I ran over the Taco Bell dog  
"Hola, amigos!" the figure shouted, waving a bottle in the air.  
"Wufei? What are you doing here?" Heero asked.   
"We finished our dare! Now time for justice! Give us the cookies!"  
"COOOKIIIES!!!" a figure shouted, a large uni-bang sticking out. Trowa laughed very un-Trowa like. "COOKIES!!!" Trowa laughed again, falling out of the tank and onto the road, still laughing.  
"You actually did it?" Duo asked, stepping out of the car and up to Wufei.  
"Are you claiming I am a LIAR, Maxwell?! Injustice! Here is your PROOF!" Wufei handed a small number of photos to Duo. Duo looked over the photos and his face split into two with laughter.   
"I didn't even know you could DO that with Shake N' Bake!" Duo amazed, still chuckling to himself. Heero also walked up to Wufei as what seemed to be Quatre poked his head out of the tank opening.   
"This is the song that never ends, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! Some people STARTED singing it, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS!! And THEY'LL continue SINGING it forever just because this is the song THAT NEVER ENDS!!!" Quatre continued "singing" his song, giggling like a little miko.   
"Let's go get some cookies!" Duo shouted, taking a swig from Wufei's bottle. "COOOOKIIIIES!!!" Trowa yelled. "YEAH!" the other pilots shouted, all jumping into the tank.  
********  
Lady Une walked lazily into her living room, yawning loudly. Her hair was sticking out here and there and her glasses were tilted. She had just gotten done doing some, oh, lets say, "peace discussions" with Treize and it was very early in the morning.  
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.." Lady Une mumbled to herself, remembering last night. She chuckled to herself and walked into the garage. The scene layed before her looked like a battlefield after a war had been fought. All over the walls were the words "COOKIE!" in green spray-paint with little clown smiley faces by it. Lady Une's eyes widened as she looked at her new vehicle.  
"My car!.....my car!......." Lady Une gasped. "NO! Treize! TREIZE!" Lady Une ran back to the bedroom. Her car was covered in whip-cream and Shake N' Bake, the words "Foxy Lady!" written in it. Inside the car there was even more Shake N' Bake, whip cream, half clown masks, blood, used condoms, roses, a Tickle Me Elmo hanging from the viewfinder in a noose, and whatever else your evil little mind can think up.   
~*~Owari~*~  
  
Okay, okay, I know that was stupid but it was enjoyable still, ne? Email me questions, comments, or flames. Ja! 


End file.
